just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
