i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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