My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
