dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you have to choose: penises or morals?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
