this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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