we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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