Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
