I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
