I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
