I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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