dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
