You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize