Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
