You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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