Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
