Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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