Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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