When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
