I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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