do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize