Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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