Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
