Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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