it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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