i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
