put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
