I want to have your abortion
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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