We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
