You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
