I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
