I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You ruined the universe
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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