my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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