Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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I need you to use more vowels.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
