Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
