Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
