Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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