This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize