Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
