So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
