none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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