That's intense
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
