apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize