YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
