I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
