Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
