Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
