The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
