We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize