i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
