final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize