i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
