Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize