I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
