I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
