I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
