its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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