brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im six kinds of drunk right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
