and you said cock pushups were impossible
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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