but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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