You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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