so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
