I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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