Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
