I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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