So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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