You're completely useless in the revolution.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I would ride that face into the sunset
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
