so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need to calm my uterus...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
