Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
