Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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