hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
