I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
