census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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