I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
